How To Create a Loneliness-Resistant Workplace

But Don't We Need Alone Time?

Even as social beings, humans need alone time. The length of that time varies from person to person, but it is vital for processing information, developing a stronger sense of self, and problem-solving.

Solitude is, therefore, an integral aspect of physical and mental well-being. Maybe you skip lunch with your coworkers to get a breath of fresh air after a stressful morning or look for a quiet room when working on a tight deadline. These are natural—and healthy—states of voluntary solitude in which your experience of connection matches your desire for connection (or temporary disconnection).

Loneliness, on the other hand, comes from perceived isolation—a mismatch between your desire for connection and your internal experience of it. Frustratingly, it can strike anywhere, from a loud crowd at a concert to a late night alone in one's bedroom.

"To me, loneliness is the sense that the world doesn't see you for you," says Sarah Gaer, a trauma recovery specialist and suicide loss survivor. "It's a feeling in your soul that you are ultimately on your own … in your sadness, grief, fear, anger, and even sometimes your joy."

And it can become self-perpetuating. Nadz Mendoza—founder of Self-Esteem Team, which delivers mental health workshops to students, schools, and parents, describes watching her mother struggle with loneliness.

"She'd always say she preferred to be alone," Ms. Mendoza says. "Yet, with hindsight, I think she meant she felt alone rather than wanted to be alone. It became a vicious cycle and, even though she craved connection, she'd push people away."

Loneliness and the Workplace

The amount of time we spend at work, our reliance on workplaces for social interaction, and the burden of loneliness on the economy make the workplace a vital part of the answer to chronic loneliness.

The average person spends up to one-third of their life working—equivalent to the amount of time we spend asleep. This astonishing time commitment presents countless opportunities to combat loneliness.

"School and work keep many of us connected," Ms. Gaer points out, "even when we think we don't want to be."

And although loneliness has been on the radar for years, COVID made it all the more salient for companies and workers.

"More companies have been forced to address mental health [during] the pandemic," says author and Wall Street Journal reporter Katherine Sayre, "and figure out how to connect people outside the office."

Solving Workplace Loneliness

Loneliness is a natural feeling, so trying to erase it in its entirety could actually cause more harm than benefit.

"It's important to acknowledge and name the loneliness that most of the world is facing right now," says Ms. Gaer. "Trying to fix it is not realistic and [is] super invalidating." Rather, she suggests, "Validation and understanding counteracts loneliness more than anything."

Plus, healthy amounts of loneliness can act as a signal that something needs to change. "In a world that moves at gazillion miles per hour," says Ms. Mendoza, "[solitude] can offer a silver lining in taking a moment to reflect."

But there are still ways workplaces can mitigate unhealthy amounts of loneliness.